welcome to my nightmare

Some day, I will write a novel about the most frightening species in the rogue’s gallery of monsters, mutants and deviants:

The Doll.

I have always DESPISED dolls, from my earliest memories. They are like, totally creepazoid. They look at you with those dead soulless eyes, like they’re planning something. Waiting for you to fall asleep.

Oh, make no mistake. They’ve got you dead in their sights.

There’s even one on Twitter. And she doesn’t even TRY to hide what she is:

I could never understand those other kids who carried their little babykins around, lovin’ on them, cooin’ at them. They were friggin’ pieces of plastic that smelled funny when you left them out in the sun.

Tell me that doesn’t look like a dead thing.

I guess the thing that makes them so disgusting is that they’re NEAR alive. If they were outright fantasies like a Muppet, or, of course, actual babies, they’d be adorable. But this pseudo-quasi-almost-living being strikes me as kind of blasphemous.

So watch out for this little gal on Twitter:

That’s right. They’re part little girl, part plastic, and ALL PSYCHOPATH.

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About Lisha Cauthen

Lisha Cauthen writes YA novels for guys that girls like to read too.

Posted on May 11, 2010, in oddities and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. My sis sent my girl a hand-me down doll that had little electronics under the cheeks and eyes so that its face would move. My husband has never forgiven me for putting it in the fridge where his beer normally rests…

  2. I used to stuff all my stuffed toys in my closet (okay, yes I HAD DOLLS), then lay on my back all night watching the doorknob. Terrified. And there was a season in which my sister and I refused to practice piano in the living room unless Mom removed the china doll from the mantel. And put it in a box underneath something.

    This post creeped me out. Thanks, Lisha.

  3. lishacauthen

    Laura.

    It’s people like you that make people like me…

    piss my pants.

    And Cindi, I think you and I have A LOT to talk about.

  4. The only thing worse than dolls are … clowns. But the most evil thing in the world is a … clown doll. whimpers.

  5. ello!

    Don’t torture yourself like that!

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